I have never been a fan of online dating but my busy schedules and screaming loneliness made me seek my fortune on one of the most popular “love” websites. I can’t tell that I regret my decision as I learned a lot of things about men and their personalities. Most importantly, I unexpectedly met my soul mate on that website. When I wrote “soul mate,” I actually mean it. Although we both failed to build a long-term relationship, he and I still believe we are destined to be together.

How it all started

We live about 66 miles away from each other, but it didn’t stop us from keeping our communication. We sent lovely and serious, funny and silly texts all day and night long and we were wondering how many things we have in common. We both had that feeling that we finally met a “soul mate.” Thanks to a modern technology and different messengers, the communication was fruitful, albeit we often had fights and disagreements.

The first time we met each other in person was my city. He happily came to my place (without any flowers to my wonder) and we spent at least 6 hours chatting and discussing our future. Then, he invited me to visit his city and meet his mom. Everything seemed to be so serious and we even began to discuss the wedding details and plans for the future. But then, something went wrong.

Messenger isn’t to blame

I was so excited about the things we have in common and the feelings I started experiencing towards him that I refused to notice the highly critical things. First, he is a narcissist and secondly, he is an abuser. Honestly, I didn’t think too much about these facts, because like all the girls, I believed he would change as soon as he fell in love with me. It didn’t happen.

The first signs of his abusive behavior I noticed when we were chatting via a messenger. His texts were rude, abusive, and sometimes frightful. Each time I told him about it, he claimed, “This messenger is to blame.” I thought this way, too… until I moved to his place.

The bird in a cage

Yes, I felt like I lived in the cage and I wasn’t allowed to do ANYTHING – literally. I always had to ask him to let me go to the supermarket or call my mom or check my Facebook feed. Each time I did something without asking for his permission, I was punished cruelly. His mom knew about it and she blamed me for his rude behavior because I wasn’t obedient enough to keep silent and do everything she says.

Sorry my soul mate, sorry my ex potential mother-in-law, I have other plans for my life and since I live once, I want to enjoy every aspect of it without asking for any permission. Saying goodbye to someone you still love is hard, but your life is a lot more important than an abusive relationship.


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