I’ve been an avid people pleaser since my childhood and even today I’m struggling with this habit. I believed that having tons of friends is great so I did EVERYTHING just to save a friendship when it’s about to fail. Losing a friend – especially the best one – isn’t easy, but it’s inevitable.
I have lost many friends and each friendship ending was as painful as a breakup with a person you love. Although I felt a huge relief after that, I was worrying about what others would say about me at that moment. I thought people would blame me for losing a friend. When things go wrong, I blamed myself as well.
Quality is more important than quantity
When I was in college, I had up to 30 so-called friends. I spent a lot of time and effort trying to keep each so-called friendship alive that I didn’t pay enough attention to those who truly cared about me. When I graduated from the college, I had less than 10 friends and this fact made me spend hours online looking for new friends. When my startup failed and I left with debts and no cash for entertainment, I hoped my friends would at least support me – I wouldn’t ask for more. But those “friends” shied away from me in a jiff. Only one friend left, but I lost her as well.
Losing a friend isn’t the end of the world
That only friend that left by my side suggested me a financial help that could aid me in paying off my bank debts. The good news, I don’t owe banks anything. The bad news, I owe my “friend” more than I would banks. After a month, she named a rate of interest and I have no choice but to pay it as her husband turns out to be a criminal. I didn’t expect it from her but she taught me to be stronger. She showed me that the definition of a “friend” is different to everyone.
Most of my so-called friends have shown me how strong and resilient I can be. I learned to choose my surroundings carefully. Stopped pleasing everyone, but are still ready to help even my ex friends. I’ve finally learned how to enjoy my own company, love myself, and take serious decisions without asking for friends’ approval. It doesn’t mean I won’t make new friends in the future, but I’ll certainly choose quality over quantity.