Becoming a godmother is like becoming a mom; a responsibility is still huge. I became a godmother in my early 20s and despite all the hesitations I thought it would be a fun idea. After all, being a 20-something mother is much easier than being a 20-something mom. I took an active part in caring for my goddaughter till her second birthday. But oftentimes, I had to pretend I enjoyed playing with her. As this little angel was raising, her parents divorced and her mother found a joy in alcohol. My goddaughter moved to her grandma and I really didn’t care to find out her address.

As a 20-something girl I was busy with my complicated relationships with guys and starting my career and then business, so I almost didn’t think about my responsibility of being a godmother. Now that I settled and have a profitable business – and thus more free time for overthinking my life – I realize that my goddaughter is 12 years old now and she doesn’t even know how I look like. I feel horribly guilty and even though I know where she lives I can’t dare to look into her eyes and say, “Sorry, you know I was busy with my life.” Here’s what I learned about my failed attempt at becoming a good godmother:

Lesson 1: It’s okay to say no

There’s a myth that saying no when someone asks you to become a godparent of their child is a sin. I had my doubts and I was about to refuse when I friends suggested me to be a godma of her newborn daughter. When I told my mom that I wasn’t ready to take such a responsibility, my mom told, “You can’t say no, it’s a sin.” Now I’m asking myself, “Isn’t it a bigger sin of being a bad godmother?” It’s a huge burden that I have to live with today.

Lesson 2: Godchildren need love, not money

Any bad parent would understand me here. When you’re too busy to spend quality time with a child, you start showering them with gifts and buying everything they request. I sent money and gifts annually to my goddaughter but never heard “thank you” or “I love you.” She didn’t need my money – neither does she need it now. Be they your own or your friend’s, children need love, not money.

If I ever became a godmother again, I would do everything possible to be the best “mom” I could. Nothing would stop me from spending quality time with my godchild.

 

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